apparently the secret to your success is patron
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
