I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
