Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
