I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
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