Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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