You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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