Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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