i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
