You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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