you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
