escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
