I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
