I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
