Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
