I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
