the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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