I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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