No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
