i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
