Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize