this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
