if you like me you must not know who I am
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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