Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize