I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
