Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
