I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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