I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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