Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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