So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Randomize
