Ambien. No doubt about it.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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