I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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