Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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