there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
