Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize