do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
