U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
