You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize