Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize