i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
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