Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
