Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
