i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
