Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize