Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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