I'm going to jail i love you
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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