Sry I called you an 8
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
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