You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
