Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize