im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize