Me. At least after what I've been through.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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