god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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