Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
