I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize