It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
